Letter to My Past Self

You’re about to go through something big, something you weren’t expecting and something that is going to scare you. I’m here to tell you it’s going to be ok, we are going to get through. You won’t always think we are going to make it, doubting your truths and your strength. It’s ok, doubting will be a natural response, but I’m here to tell you the doubts will pass and the truth with prevail. It’s going to be ok.

When you are in the middle of the storm that is coming, you’re going to feel hopeless. It’s going to get dark and feel dark, but I’m here to tell you that the light never goes out. The light guiding you actually gets brighter, stronger and more resilient, but it’s hard to see because the darkness can be overwhelming. I’m here to tell you it’s going to be ok and the light will prevail.

There will be times when people you thought were close will wander away. Let them wander, as this might be too big for them. Their wandering does not mean they don’t love you, it just means they don’t know what the answer is, and people like knowing the answers. When they don’t have answers they feel helpless. They still love you, are most likely still praying for you and thinking of you, they just don’t know how to respond.

There will come a time when you are really angry at God, like ready to walk away form your faith angry. Don’t be discouraged by this, you might be ready to walk away, but God never walks away from you. In fact, he is closer to you than ever, your unbelief only fuelling his strength to help you get through this. He is taking the brunt of this battle, though it feels like the opposite. He is sheltering you from feeling the things that are unseen, protecting you from the advances of the enemy. He is closer to you now than he has ever been in your life, it’s just hard to feel.

I’m writing this to you not to frighten you, but to tell you we make it through. We might have a few scars, a few new perspectives, and a deeper heart from the stretching of our love, but we make it through ok.

It’s going to be ok.

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