This year I’m going to choose to love what is before me, instead of setting a bunch of goals.
The fresh start of a New Year. This is when we are full of aspirations, goals, dreams and the uncharted territory of a year yet to be mapped. I would venture it’s fair to say we are all stepping into this year with a little more trepidation than the last. Do we make goals, set our sights on something achievable, or allow the day to day bring us what it will, accepting our fate one day at a time?
I would say I’m approaching this year a little bit differently. Usually, I’m looking to the end of the year already, imagining how far along in our goals path we will be. Will we be moving, debt free, closer to our dream of a homestead or setting off on a new adventure? The beginning of the year is like the lighting of a sparkler, not just in the celebratory sense, but in the sense of the initial spark of excitement, an anticipation that is rarely found elsewhere. I can often set myself up for disappointment in this thinking, as my goals are usually lofty, fantasizing the perfect outcome of all things.
I read a book at the end of 2019 that changed my perspective on a lot of things. This book helped me to appreciate and love “What Is” in my life, instead of always wishing for something different. As with a lot of inspirations, the excitement of this newly discovered way of thinking dimmed out like the sparkler reaching the end of it’s fuel. The thing with epiphanies is we sometimes have to let them die out, returning to our old patterns to truly understand that our old way of thinking is of no more use to us.
My goal this year is not in the physical, though I will not give up on moving forward physically, but I will put more of my goal oriented power into living out the year accepting what is and loving it for what it is. The roof over our heads may not be the one of my goals, but it is a roof, and a safe roof. It is a roof indicating that I have a place to come home to each day. This home is not a place of solitude and loneliness, but it is a place my husband also calls home. A place where a dog excitedly greets me each time I walk through the door, as if after a long journey away. It is a place of warmth and love. I do not come home to only my thoughts, I come home to a family.
The 9-5 I call my job is a place of generosity and understanding. It may not be the lofty job I had in mind as a child, but it is stable. It is place where individuals come together as a team to accomplish the goal of giving back to the people who choose to walk through the doors. This 9-5 provides me with the income needed to keep the safe roof over my head, the roof that holds more than a house, but a home. This 9-5 provides me with a community of supporting and understanding individuals who support me in my role and me in theirs. It gives me a piece to play in this larger ‘game’ of life.
Our community has dwindled over the last few years, but those who remain are the unmovable pillars we can rely on. They are the salt in our lives, bringing forth the elements of ourselves that make us better versions of who we were yesterday, and areas of ourselves we could best do without. This community is far different from the plethora of people that confetti’ed my life over the years, but like confetti the party is short lived and only the truly determined ones stick to your face or find their way into your pocket as it flutters to the ground. These few people we call our community are worth carrying around with us, keeping them close and sharing our hearts.
My marriage has tested the limitations of myself, causing me to shift my values, my beliefs and my understanding of how relationships ‘should’ work. The ‘shoulds’ in my life have been challenged to their very foundation. This has churned out a side of me I didn’t see before, a sharpening that can only happen on the grinding stone of chipping away the dull aspects of yourself. This journey was not what I expected, nor what I would have wished for, but now that I am on the other side, living in the skin of a newly reformed me, I would not trade it. I prefer the me I am today over the me I was a few years ago.
This year I will choose to love what is, even if it is hard, character shaping work. I will choose to love what is, even if it challenges what I think should happen. This year I will choose to love what is, because if I don’t I might miss it for what it is, instead of what I think it should be.
Self reflecting thought to be reminded of mid-year or look back on at the end of the year.
My sense for this year is that Rhett and I will face transition. I feel this transition will be quick, and we will have to move quick with it to keep up. I think this transition will give us a sense of excitement and relief. I have no idea what this transition means, nor do I want to give it a name, because I want to accept it for what it is. I trust God’s plan for this year, he will move quickly and we will have to move quick to keep up with him, but I think we are up for the challenge!
The concept in this post are inspired by the book “Loving What Is” – Find it on Amazon or Audible.