I have allowed unrealistic expectations rule my life. I’m a big dreamer, which causes me to imagine what life could potentially be like, if only I, we, you would do this, that, or the other. I think a dreamers mindset is a strength, I also think that most strengths also have a weakness. My weakness of dreaming is jealousy.
I said to Rhett last night that if jealousy is the mortal sin I’m done for. The grass is always greener for me. My imagination gets carried away and I imagine the could be. Before I know it I’m seeped in jealousy and forget about everything I currently have. I have so many great things.
I have a husband who loves me so much and fought through hell for me and our marriage. He’s still fighting for our dreams and doesn’t give up. He works like a dog, keeps his eye on the movements of the world, and makes sure we are prepared and safe for whatever life might bring our way. We’ve had set backs, but unlike me, he doesn’t let set backs hold him back.
I work for amazing people. People who have supported me through dark times and love me no matter what. They are understanding, kind, professional, and compassionate. Some days I can’t believe the gig I’ve landed.
I have a wonderful family. It’s full of crazy, funny, loud, adventure seeking people who could literally have their own reality show. Sometimes I wish I lived closer so that we could all be a little more crazy and adventurous together.
Its my goal this summer to be more like a wildflower. It could be a ditch, a field, a crack in the sidewalk or a swamp, and they will grow and flourish and bring their beauty to the world. They don’t compare their soil to that of the PH grade of the garden next door. They come in all colours, shapes and sizes, and sometimes I can’t tell if they are a weed or mistakenly planted by a professional. Wildflowers literally grow where they are planted by the wind, and they are incredibly hard to stop, which is where we get the term, “grows like a weed.” Weeds are the garden of the creator, fully relying on what they are given by their surroundings, instead of the hand of someone else.
I want to grow like a weed this summer. I want to cultivate gratitude for where I am. I want to be aware that someone else may look at my life and see the beauty, success and blessing that I don’t see. I want to rely on God for what I need to flourish, instead of looking to others to fulfill my needs. I want to embrace the simple, carefree and vibrant aspects of who I am, blooming without the care of how others may define me.
The wildflower bursting out of the cement crack next to the crosswalk doesn’t seem to give a lick that it’s a weed, growing where it shouldn’t. It’s just being the best version of itself, taking only what it is given, and thriving.